Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
