so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
