True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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