i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
