Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you will always have a special place in my vag
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
