Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
