i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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