He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
