he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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