Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
