The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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