6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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