I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
