why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
