Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize