Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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