sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
