i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
