A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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