just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
