i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.