He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?