Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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(407): View more from Florida

Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.

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(314): View more from Missouri

hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

(636): View more from Missouri

Yup.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yup.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.

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(646): View more from New York

you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor

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(941): View more from Florida

I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now

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(512): View more from Texas

How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.

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(917): View more from New York City

Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.

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