so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize