Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
