You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
