are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
