Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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