either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
