So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize