i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
