I love black thongs
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
