I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
