I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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