i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
