My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
