there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
tell me about the fingering
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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