He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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