Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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