a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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