You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
