can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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