Me. At least after what I've been through.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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