What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
