He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
