I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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