We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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