no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Randomize
