Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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