Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
as a side note pls kill me
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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