he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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