You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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