How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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