we have pet lesbian snakes
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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