Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
