I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
