So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize