I just pynch a tree in the face
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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