I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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