Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
