I wish I could punch you in the face.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
