Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He shit in the fireplace
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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