don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
