Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
