yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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