didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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